Sorry for not giving any updates or details for a long time. The truth is I am going through something awful right now that is personal. Any support and prayers right now mean more than ever.
I went to Thunder Bay for a big open (prize money) tournament last weekend. I was having a hard time focusing with tennis and not on my problems, but the tennis was a great distraction and stress relief and I was actually playing very well.
I took out a couple good players in straight sets pretty handily and then got to the final. The final was against the player I beat there in the finals 2 years ago, however he won the tournament last year. I played possibly the best tennis I have ever played as I took out my frustrations on the court and cruised 6-1 6-3. In the end it was just a relief and did not feel like it would have normally to win a big $2500 check. One of my better friends came along with me, he played in the 1-3 spots at Nebraska as a freshman this season. He ended up making the semi-final and we also won the doubles. He helped keep me from becoming a complete wreck and we also had some fun.
This last week though, after having to face more of my troubles, I was turning into a zombie. I was getting no sleep, and I’ve never cried so hard or as much in my life. Being on the tennis court to practice just didn’t feel important, and I had no competitive drive, as well I was just exhausted. I still went to the next tournament though which was this weekend in Wisconsin. I was able to get one nice win in the quarterfinal over Michigan State’s number 2 player, 6-2 6-3, but even in that match, I was having a hard time not feeling anxiety, running or hitting the ball well and I did not even want to be there. I tried to psyche myself into pretending to be fine for the semi-final, as it was against a very good player and one who I have beaten every time we have played in the past. He was just playing too good, and I had nothing left physically. I defaulted the third-place match as I really just need to take a week off from the game and try to get some rest.
I have got a lot of things to figure out, and I don’t know if it will be in a week or a month from now. Im hoping to still play at New Haven for the US Open nationals, but I will have to somehow get back to my best form to have a chance at it. Either way, hopefully I can try to have some fun in the meantime. I have had a lot of support from family and friends and that means a lot to me — I feel so lucky.
Thanks again and talk to you soon,